There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
