just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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