I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
