your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
