A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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