..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
