Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
