i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
