He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Randomize
