Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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