So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
