new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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