O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
