Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Randomize
