No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Randomize
