Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Randomize
