last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I'm like, not good at living.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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