So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
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