and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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