he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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