Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Randomize
