I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
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I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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