And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
She bit a glass in half.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
