Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
