would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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