Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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