Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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