how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
