after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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