i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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