I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
