I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
