I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
