when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
When are your genitals available?
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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