Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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