ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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