She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
now i know why i became what i already was.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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