Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize