She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I have aggressive nipples.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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