If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
