pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
