I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
sex in a hospital.. check
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Randomize
