do herpes really smell.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Dicks are not precious.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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