With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Randomize
