at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
