I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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