thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
