I wish I only lived at night.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
