i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
