Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
