SEEEEXXX PLEASE
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Randomize
